Chapter 185

"I didn't say you couldn't. If you wanna shower, do it tomorrow morning. Not now."

"I'll get you some milk, or you'll have a headache tomorrow."

At that moment, I couldn't hear anything anymore. I closed my eyes, exhausted.

When I woke up again, I was a bit annoyed.

I felt someone helping me sit up, and in my groggy state, someone was pouring something warm into my mouth.

After I finished drinking, he helped me lie back down. No one disturbed me after that, and I slept until the next morning.

When I opened my eyes, I was a bit stunned by my surroundings.

"Where am I?"

"Was I kidnapped?"

Memories from last night flooded back. I remembered the three of us drinking by the roadside. Savannah planned to take us home, but we refused to get in the car. In the end, Savannah called Royce and Simon to pick us up. Royce took me home.

I suddenly realized I was at Royce's place.

I got up and pushed open the bedroom door. Royce was sitting on the couch, leisurely reading a newspaper. Hearing the door open, he turned and glanced at me. "Awake?"

I nodded. "I didn't say anything stupid last night, did I?"

Royce chuckled. "Oh, you did. You got drunk and cried while hugging me."

"You kept saying you were divorced and wanted me to stay and be your husband."

I was stunned. I hadn't drunk in a long time. Was my behavior that bad?

But I really couldn't remember what happened after I got to Royce's place, so I had to consider the possibility that he was telling the truth.

I covered my face, feeling utterly embarrassed.

When I opened my eyes, Royce was looking at me, as if asking, "Aren't you going to explain?"

I cleared my throat. "Why take a drunk's words seriously? Just pretend I didn't say anything."

Royce snorted. "What if I took it seriously?"

My mind went blank, and my heart raced. "Then I apologize."

"Who wants your apology?"

I clutched my head, squatting down in pain. "Royce, my head hurts."

He stopped joking and came over, squatting beside me to massage my head.

"That's what you get for drinking so much last night. Your head hurts, doesn't it?"

Actually, I wasn't in pain at all. I just wanted to avoid the awkward topic. But Royce's massage felt so good that I didn't want him to stop, so I continued pretending to have a headache.

I enjoyed his massage while thinking of an excuse to leave.

When he finally stopped, I said, "You have great hands. You could open a massage parlor."

He didn't respond. "Still hurt?"

I shook my head. "Not at all. Thanks. I have some things to take care of, so I'll be going."

I grabbed my bag and stood up to leave, but Royce grabbed my hand.

"Where are you going?"

I smiled awkwardly. "I have some unresolved matters. Thanks for the massage."

"And what about what you said last night? Aren't you going to give me an answer?"

He held onto me, not letting me move.

"Don't take a drunk's words seriously. It was just a joke. None of it was real."

He looked at me silently for a moment. "But I took every word seriously."

I didn't know how to respond. The sincerity in his eyes told me he wasn't joking. He really took every word to heart.

My thoughts began to stir. I was divorced now.

Could I...?

But I quickly realized that even though I was divorced, I was still a mother of three.

No man would accept that, so there was a natural barrier between Royce and me.

A barrier that couldn't be crossed.

I calmed down and looked at Royce. "I'm sorry about last night. I didn't mean it."

"I apologize."

After I said that, Royce's eyes gradually turned cold.

He let go of my hand.

I felt a wave of sadness wash over me, making me feel uncomfortable and lost.

"I'll be going."

I turned to leave, but then I heard him say behind me, "Caroline, what are you hesitating about? You know I like you, and you like me. Why do you keep pushing me away?"

I froze, not saying a word.

He continued, "Do you know how much it hurts me every time you push me away? Have you ever considered how I feel?"

I felt like my heart was being squeezed, a wave of bitterness and suffocation overwhelming me, making it hard to breathe.

But Royce and I had missed ten years. Everything had changed in those ten years.

Even if we forced ourselves to be together now, we'd eventually break up over trivial matters. I didn't have the confidence to enter another marriage.

I also didn't have the confidence that he would accept me as a mother of three.

"I..."

I hesitated, not knowing what to say. He grabbed my shoulders and turned me around. "Tell me what you're thinking."

"Can you talk? Let me know your thoughts, and we'll solve it together."

I remained silent because I knew our problems couldn't be solved. Even if I spoke, it wouldn't help.

He sighed and let go of my shoulders.

His voice was full of disappointment and exhaustion. "Just go."

I suddenly felt a wave of panic. If I really walked away now, I might lose Royce forever.

I looked at him and couldn't help but say, "Royce, I..."

He waved his hand. "Aren't you busy? Just go. Let me cool down."

He was pushing me away. Realizing this, I felt a deep sense of loss.

I stood at the door, watching Royce light a cigarette. The smoke obscured his face.

I knew I should stay, but I had no idea how. So, I bit my lip and left.

Through the crack in the door, I saw Royce looking out the window, not at me.

My heart ached intensely. It felt like I was giving up the most important thing in my life.

But I had no choice.

If he really stayed with me, he'd realize I was a mother of three. I couldn't be a perfect wife for him. Maybe he deserved someone better.

Thinking this, I pressed the elevator button, a tear rolling down my cheek.

I had just ended a marriage that had tormented me for nearly ten years.

Maybe it was God's punishment, leaving me alone.