Chapter 30

"Do you miss it at all?" As I sat cross-legged on the couch with the room's soft glow from the penthouse lights creating shadows, I requested in a quiet voice.

Ethan, who was seated across from me, raised his head in a questioning manner. "Miss what?"

I explained, stroking a lock of hair behind my ear. "Your old life. Prior to everything. Prior to Monroe Enterprises, prior to..."

He pondered my question while leaning back in his chair. "It's difficult to say," he acknowledged. "I never really led a life apart from the company. My father made sure of that."

I could feel the weight he still carried, the unresolved feelings connected to Henry Monroe, as his voice softened at the mention of his father.

"I understand," I muttered. "I suppose I also didn't have a very active life outside of school. Prior to all of this, things were easier. And now."

With a slight smirk tugging at his lips, Ethan concluded for me, "Now it's chaos."

Even though it didn't quite reach my eyes, I couldn't help but smile. "Yeah. Chaos."

A cozy silence descended upon the room, the kind that had grown more common amongst us. The ease with which we had settled into cohabitation was odd. Instead of feeling awkward as I had anticipated, it felt great. We settled into a routine: working at the office, returning home, maybe sharing a meal or quietly watching TV. There was more, though, even in that silence.

We both acted as though it wasn't there.

Ethan and I weren't only haphazardly paired as step-siblings. I made an effort to ignore the tension that existed between us whenever our hands touched or our gazes locked for an excessive amount of time. We were treading a line, and I wasn't sure how long we could act as though it didn't exist.

"Have you ever considered what life might have been like in a different scenario?" My question was hardly audible above a whisper.

Ethan fixed me with his intense gaze, which made my heart accelerate. "At all times."

My throat seemed suddenly dry as I swallowed. My heartbeat quickened because of something in his voice and the way he gazed at me. It wasn't just the casual chatter or banter we'd been having recently. This was not like the others.

I moved on the sofa, attempting to concentrate on the query. "Like what?"

He leaned forward a little and inhaled deeply. "I'm not sure. If my dad had been someone else. If only I had left the company sooner. Perhaps my life would have been more typical. I met someone. had a family. The normal stuff, you know."

I stared at him, taken aback by his candor. "Do you feel bad about it? Taking over the business?"

Ethan paused, and I couldn't quite place the flickering in his eyes. "I have many regrets. The biggest thing I regret, though, is probably that I didn't get to be myself. I've always had to be "the son of Henry Monroe." The one who puts things in order and picks up the pieces"

I had never heard him speak with such vulnerability before. I had long viewed Ethan as the sturdy, well-managed entrepreneur who always had things under control. However, I became aware of how much he had been holding in this silent period.

"I understand," I muttered. "I mean, not on the same scale. However, I understand what it's like to have to live up to expectations."

Ethan's face softened as he turned to face me. "Emily, you were a teacher. You didn't have to live up to anything."

"Perhaps not," I conceded. "However, I was always under pressure to be the ideal daughter. The person who never made a mistake. who didn't let anyone down and who complied with all regulations. And now that I have all of this, I occasionally question whether I'm acting appropriately."

Ethan's eyes never left mine, and for an instant I thought he could see right through me. "You are."

Startled by the assurance in his voice, I blinked. "How are you aware?"

He stated plainly, "Because you're not the type to do the wrong thing." "You're overly concerned. You are skilled at this because of this. You excel in everything you do because of this."

A knot formed in my throat as his comments struck me more forcefully than I had anticipated. I tried to ignore the emotion that was growing inside of me by turning my head away. "I don't know about that."

Ethan responded, "Believe me," in a quieter tone. "Your performance is better than you realize."

We locked eyes once again as I turned to face him. The tension between us was evident this time. It hung in the air like a storm preparing to blow, dense and tangible.

The air between us was getting heavier by the second, and I could feel my heart speed. I could have changed the topic or said something, but I was unable to do so. His gaze on me, the unsaid attraction that had been developing for weeks, and the present moment had me engrossed.

"Ethan..." Uncertain of what I was going to say, I muttered.

However, he leaned forward and drew closer before I could finish. I felt a shock of energy run through my body as his hand touched mine. For an instant, I thought he was going to back off, and my breath caught.

However, he didn't.

Rather, he leaned in closer, looking into my eyes as though he were begging for permission in silence. The tension between us was at its peak, and I could feel the heat radiating off his body. Then I closed the gap before I could stop myself.

At first, our lips were tentative and delicate, as if we were both trying something new. However, the kiss intensified as soon as his palm touched the nape of my neck. I was only able to focus on the way he was kissing me and how he felt pushed against me, like if all the tension we had been suppressing for so long had suddenly been released.

However, it ended as swiftly as it had begun.

Breathing deeply, we both withdrew as the reality of what had just transpired hit us hard.

With my mind spinning and my heart pounding, I gazed at him. "I, Ethan..."

He didn't say anything. He didn't have to. His expression said it all. He was as conflicted and upset as I was.

We remained motionless for a long time. Everything that had just transpired and everything that had been kept silent filled the air between us. As I struggled to comprehend what had just transpired, I could feel my heart thumping in my chest and my pulse rushing.

However, it was obvious that we had gone too far. And now there was no turning back.